Relation Advices Tips

Since the advent of the Internet, online dating seems to be the next generation of falling in love and getting married.

With online dating, it seems that no one needs to be alone anymore. Everybody is bound to find the right man or woman through the help of online dating services. Best of all, online dating provides additional services that no other services can provide; and, because of the many interactive features that most online dating sites give, more and more people are being enticed to try it out.

One of the greatest advantages of online dating is that it gives the person anonymity. Since, other people are not fully aware of how an individual looks and what kind of person they are dealing with; anonymity becomes a powerful tool in the process of interaction with other people.

With anonymity, most people are able to say what they usually cannot disclose if done personally. In addition, most people have a lot of time analyzing their dates first before they decide to meet them in person. In this way, they get to know who the person is, his or her personality, or what does he or she looks like even if it is only through pictures.

However, anonymity can also be too powerful that some people use this as one way of gaining the other person’s attention through deceptions and lies.

Therefore, for people who wish to know how to identify if the other person they are dating online is not telling the truth or is deceiving them, here are some ways to detect such unscrupulous activity.

1. People who are into online dating should be wary of those who exaggerate or evade things that are too obvious not to notice.

This only means that the other person is trying to hide something. People who do these kinds of things can be very deceiving especially if the other person cannot easily detect the “symptoms of lying.”

Moreover, people who usually exaggerate may suggest that he or she is trying to cover something that is why they make an effort to change the topic at once.

2. Inconsistency

There are instances that some people usually tell stories of different varieties during a date online. Throughout the course of the activity, there are those who would keep on yakking about certain things and when they are asked to tell the same story all over again the next time the couples meet online, some discrepancies happen. The facts are no longer consistent with those that were mentioned before.

Therefore, these things would only suggest that the person is, indeed, deceiving his or her online date.

3. If the other person does not reveal too much of his or her personal information or anything about him or her, chances are, he or she may be deceiving their online dates.

In reality, there is no harm on not revealing anything about certain information. In fact, it is one way of dating safely online.

However, there are situations wherein an individual has to know something about his or her date just to gain a little knowledge about the other person. This usually includes basic information like name, age, likes or dislikes, and other light information that could give the concerned person some solid basis of the person.

So, for people who do not reveal much about who they are, it means that they are hiding something.

4. Intuitions

It may be too vague or too amusing to believe on intuitions. Nevertheless, there are many cases and stories wherein people who rely on their intuitions usually get positive results.

Intuitions are things that are known to exist without the support of some rational basis. Hence, if a person feels that his online date is not telling the truth, then, chances are, the person may not be telling the truth after all.

Experts say that through intuitions, the individual’s subconscious thought can identify inconsistencies that are not easily noticed. This can be very helpful especially when somebody is skilled enough to be consistent on his or her lies for a long time.

5. It would be better for some people to ask their online date to have a chat using a web cam. In this way, they will both each other’s looks, personalities, and other things that can only be verifiable through web cams.

Here, an individual can detect a person who is trying to deceive him or her when he or she does not want to use a web cam or if there are just too many excuses.

The bottom line is that, if the other person has nothing to lie about, then, everything must be kept simple and straightforward. There should be no beating around the bush while answering some questions.

In reality, online dating that is free from any deceptions should be simple and based on truth, no more, no less.

About The Author:

Lawrence Andrews is an ePublisher, software developer, consultant,
and author of numerous books. Visit his Private Label Content and
Software site at http://www.lmamedia.com for more information about
Dating Do’s and Dont’s.

You may use this article freely on your website as long as this resource
box is included, a link point back to my site, and this article remains
unchanged! Copyright 2005 Lawrence Andrews

Tags: blind dating, dating, men and dating, online dating, relationships, women and datingblind dating, dating, men and dating, online dating, relationships, women and dating

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The phone rang.

Meg looked at the caller-ID display, and felt herself tighten.

It was Danny.

Usually, when Danny called, she jumped for the phone. But this time, she found herself on edge. “I’m being ridiculous,” she told herself. “Danny’s so wonderful. Pick up the phone, Meg. You’ll see, you’ll feel differently after you speak to him.”

But she was even more edgy after she hung up the phone. Danny had called to tell her that he bought front-section tickets to tomorrow’s New York Philharmonic concert. She knew very well that he’d gone to the expense because she loved classical music.

“He’s so good, so considerate,” Meg thought. “What’s my problem?”

Meg decided to call Laurie. Laurie was one of her best friends who’d been happily married for six years. At the time, Meg had thought that her friend was crazy for getting married so young. Now, she wasn’t sure who the crazy one was anymore.

“Please be home, Laurie,” Meg begged silently.

Laurie picked up on the fourth ring.

“Hello?”

“Oh, Laurie, I’m so glad you’re home,” Meg rushed.

“I’m flattered. Is everything OK?”

Meg was too busy crying to answer.

“Meg, what happened? Did you have a fight with Danny?”

“No, no. Danny’s wonderful, like always,” Meg sobbed.

“Meg, please calm down and tell me what happened.”

Meg inhaled deeply.

“That’s better. Now, what’s going on?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. That’s why I called. You know, Danny and I got along really well from the beginning. Things just seemed to flow between us. We love spending time together, and we’re getting very serious about each other. I would count the minutes between every date and phone call.”

“Has something changed?”

“Well, I can’t point to anything. But now, when I go out with him, I feel anxious. When he calls, I get edgy. And I feel so guilty. He’s such a great guy. You know, he bought us front section seats to the Philharmonic tomorrow night. But instead of jumping for joy, I’m wishing that I get the flu. Why am I being so disgusting?”

Laurie thought for a moment. “First of all, you’re not being disgusting. Second of all, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“At the beginning, how often did you and Danny go out?”

“Once, maybe twice a week.”

“And now?”

“Three, four, sometimes five times a week.”

“There’s your answer, Meg. That’s your problem. You’re seeing each other too often.”

“Huh?”

“Meg, have you ever made Jell-O?”

“Laurie, I think taking care of your kids has fried your brain. I’m talking to you about my love life and you ask about Jell-O?”

“My brain is fine, thank you, and yes, I’m asking you about Jell-O. Have you ever made it?”

“Of course.”

“How?”

Meg began to lose her patience. “What do you mean, how? I mixed the water with the powder, put in a mold and stuck it in the fridge.”

“Did you ever try to eat the Jell-O before letting it jell in the fridge?”

“Yuck.”

“Meg, it’s the same thing with relationships. I call it the ‘Jell-O timing rule.’ When you’re really building a relationship, you need downtime. You need to give yourselves time to let the relationship jell. When you see each other four or five times a week, you’re not giving yourself enough time, and that’s why you’re getting anxious and edgy before dates and phone calls.”

Meg thought for a moment. “Laurie, that makes no sense. Danny and I aren’t seeing each other for kicks. We’re going out seriously because we’re thinking about marriage. As far as I know, married couples are together all the time. Isn’t frequent dating the best way to test our marital compatibility?”

“Meg, even married couples don’t spend every waking moment together. We have jobs, errands and all kinds of things that take up our days. Besides which, by the time you’re married for a while, you feel comfortable with each other. You’re secure in each other’s love and you don’t have to sort out your emotions all the time, or spend energy thinking, he is for me, she’s not for me. Serious dating, however, is a very emotionally intense period.”

“You can say that again,” Meg muttered. “I feel like my heart is inside a washing machine with a never-ending cycle.”

“Exactly. And that’s why you need the downtime. You and Danny should cut down your dates to about twice a week, and use the phone or e-mail to communicate on the other days. But both of you need time to integrate your lives with your relationship. You’re finishing your degree, he’s working, you both have bills to pay and deadlines to meet and laundry to do. You need to give yourselves time to jell.”

Meg was silent.

“Meg, are you there? Did I insult you or something?”

Meg laughed. “No. I was just thinking that I feel like I just lost fifty pounds. Laurie, you’re unbelievable! I feel so much better now. But,” Meg’s voice clouded over again, “how am I going to tell Danny about this? I don’t want him to think that I’m cooling off on the relationship.”

“There are enough loving ways to say things, Meg. After the concert tomorrow night, go for a walk or a drive and be open with him. He might even surprise you by saying that he feels the same way, but was afraid of hurting you.”

“Laurie, I can’t thank you enough.”

“Don’t thank me. Just don’t forget to invite me to your wedding!”

“Laurie!!”

“Good luck, Meg.”

A week later, Laurie’s doorbell rang. She opened the door to find a delivery man holding a large cake plate with a beautiful Jell-O mold on top. She signed on the line and then took the plate into the kitchen. As her children wowed over the Jell-O, she read the accompanying note:

Dear Laurie,

All’s well that ends well

When you let things jell.

Love,

Danny and Meg

David LeVine, the director of Warm Wisdom Press, works on publishing projects that bring more happiness into the world. http://www.warmwisdompress.com/dating/

Tags: dating, Love, marriage, singledating, Love, marriage, single

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