Cheating
Should you tell your partner about a one-night stand?
The evidence settles less than people want, but one finding is decision-relevant: how a partner finds out predicts what happens next.…
Contested1votes15 min read
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All questions
44 answers, each with its sources and how readers voted.
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- Sex
Does body count actually matter?
Two things are true and they pull in different directions. Large studies do find modest associations between more past partners and lower…
Contested14 min read - Sex
Why can I not orgasm with my partner?
For most women the answer is mechanical rather than psychological. In a national probability sample, fewer than one in five reported that…
Moderate evidence15 min read - Cheating
How do you know if your partner is cheating?
Usually you cannot tell from behaviour, and the research is unusually blunt about it. Across hundreds of studies people identify deception…
Moderate evidence1votes14 min read - Sex
Does watching porn cause erectile dysfunction?
The larger studies do not support it. Across several thousand men in several countries, the amount of pornography someone watches shows little…
Moderate evidence15 min read - Cheating
What counts as emotional cheating?
There is no clinical definition and no research consensus on a threshold. What clinical practice and the research on extramarital involvement…
Contested13 min read - Sex
How often should you get tested for STIs?
For most people the anchor is once a year while sexually active, and again with each new partner. Sexually active women under 25 are advised to…
Strong evidence12 min read - Cheating
Do most cheaters cheat again?
The strongest evidence finds that people who were unfaithful in one relationship were about three times as likely to be unfaithful in the next.…
Moderate evidence14 min read - Intimacy
Do phones ruin closeness between couples?
Not on the evidence available, though something real is being measured. Pooling 52 studies, perceiving a partner as snubbing you for a phone…
Contested15 min read - Sex
How do you bring up STI testing with a new partner?
Raise it well before you are anywhere near a sexual moment, lead with your own results and dates instead of asking for theirs, and ask what they…
Moderate evidence2votes14 min read - Dating
Why do I lose interest as soon as someone likes me back?
The best supported explanation is attachment avoidance. For some people closeness is itself the thing that sets off withdrawal, and someone…
Moderate evidence15 min read - Cheating
Why do people cheat when they are happy in their relationship?
Unhappiness does predict infidelity, but weakly. In the best prospective study, lower satisfaction raised the odds by a small margin, and most…
Moderate evidence15 min read - Conflict
How do you apologise properly?
Taking responsibility. When researchers tested apologies part by part, an explicit acknowledgement that it was your fault carried the most…
Moderate evidence16 min read - Breakups
Do people regret breaking up?
There is no reliable figure for how many people regret a breakup, and any percentage you have seen was not produced by research. What the…
Moderate evidence16 min read - Communication
How do you stop taking everything your partner says personally?
The judgement that does the damage is not the remark but the explanation you attach to it: whether the cause sits in your partner rather than…
Moderate evidence13 min read - Friendships
How much should couples socialise separately?
There is no evidenced number, and anyone offering one has invented it. What the research supports is narrower and more useful: partners who…
Moderate evidence16 min read - Religion
Can an interfaith marriage work?
Many do work, and the honest caveat is that they end in divorce somewhat more often than same-faith marriages. What the studies keep finding…
Moderate evidence21 min read - Marriage
Do arranged marriages last longer than love marriages?
They are less likely to end in a recorded divorce, but that mostly reflects how difficult and how costly divorce is in the places where arranged…
Limited evidence18 min read - Divorce
Should you try separation before divorce?
Sometimes, but not for the reason it is usually recommended. Around a third of married couples who separate reconcile at least once, and about a…
Limited evidence14 min read - Friendships
Can men and women be just friends?
Yes, and the question is poorly posed, since such friendships exist in very large numbers and the research has never tested whether they are…
Moderate evidence11 min read - Dating
What are actual red flags versus things people just don't like?
Two different things share the name. A small set of behaviours genuinely predicts harm: early control over money, movement or contacts,…
Moderate evidence10 min read - Family
How do you set boundaries with in-laws?
The single most consistent principle, from clinical practice rather than from a trial, is that each partner handles their own parents. A…
Limited evidence11 min read - Mental Health
Should you stay with someone who has depression?
No research answers this, because it is a question about your life rather than about depression. What the evidence does establish is that the…
Moderate evidence11 min read - Breakups
How do you know when to end a relationship?
No threshold in the research tells you to leave, and anyone offering one is not describing evidence. What it does establish is more useful than…
Moderate evidence11 min read